One of the most saddening and deplorable developments in modern society is, indubitably, the fall from prominence that mix-tapes have experienced from their lofty perch atop the courtship ritual food-chain. In the golden days, before these new-fangled computers, and napsters, and what-not made music so readily available, suitors would spend hours manually recording the newest Bon Jovi songs onto cassette. Those days have sadly left us, and now prospective targets must be wooed by other means such as personal conversation, without recourse to the eloquence of modern poets like Celine Dion or the 2 Live Crew- but how else can I communicate that (Everything I Do) I Do it for You except through the tender croonings and smooth sounds of Bryan Adams?
But all is not lost.
While in the shower mourning over the loss of the mix-tape as courting ritual and simultaneously celebrating my newly minted compilation of various artists of a country bent, I came to a startling revelation: I have a blog.
I have a blog.
A blog with a readership that must run at least into the half-dozens.
I could start a grass-roots campaign that would bring the mix-tape method of courtship back into national, nay, international prominence (I hear the cassette is still big in Eastern Europe and rural Canada, so that's a start). This will not be like other grass-roots campaigns however; Fox News will not create it, seemingly out of whole cloth, promote it daily on telecasts and through websites and then be shocked when their coverage of the completely spontaneous "movement among the people" fufills all the expectations they had placed on it as they orchestrated it over the course of several months- no, it will grow from the ground up like... like... grass... no even lower than that, lower than the grass, it will start at the roots of the grass!
And that's where you come in. Now you may say, "I already have a significant other," or "I'm really not looking," or "I'm female and not that aggressive, in-your-face, I'm-gonna-get-me-my-man type, I like the guy to come after me", or "I actually hate the idea of mix-tapes, it's a weird thing to do, couldn't you just go about it in a normal way that doesn't depend on cheesy top-40 hits"- but let me tell you something, "None of that matters". This is a grass-roots campaign and you, my friend are thinking at a grass level. We won't actually be making mix-tapes for people to try and get them to associate all the romantic feelings that "On Bended Knee" produces in them with us, instead we will be promoting mix tape awareness. The important thing is not that mix-tapes are used by musically sensitive singles to woo prospective mates, but that they are aware of the idea of using mix-tapes to woo prospective mates . You don't get rootier than that.
Let's start this thing.
Hmmm. You may have something here, Ryan, but I'm still a little unsure of footing. How far back should we go in order to truly establish the primordiality of the campaign? "Grass-roots" movement? "Grass-seed" movement? "Walmart home and garden section" movement?
ReplyDeleteTo go about this properly, we should take a note from Descartes and renounce all knowledge in order to see what still remains, what we can call sound in our understanding of the universe and fundamental workings of things, especially said flora and mixtape.
Much as dislike Descartes (his philosophy I think leads to Gnosticism of some sort or solipsism, but I suppose the coordinate plane is useful), I think you are right here. Before we make other people aware of mixtapes, we must first become aware of them ourselves. I've spent the last 10 minutes creating a "culture of mixtape awareness" to immerse myself in. Before making the big jump to actual action, we need a mixtape awareness think-tank to cultivate a viral, relevant, authentic mixtape awareness culture without borders and maybe design some bumper-stickers and/or t-shirts (because Livestrong-type bracelets don't speak to our target demographic like we need them to).
ReplyDelete